What If
by Renee the Rabid Squirrel
Summary: *Suspended* It's almost the same dragonballz timeline, with a few changes. Trunks stayed after killing Freeza, Goku got a makeover, and the androids? You'll have to find out. Rated lower due to there's only a few f-words and everything else is pg13
1. 8 Legged Freak

Notes: I have edited this story A LOT, and I am now posting the MUCH BETTER version than I had before. This is my first actual story, since "Things Dragonballz Characters Will Never Say" doesn't count as a story in my opinion. It's a humour thing, that's all.  
  
This story takes place after Freeza is really defeated by Trunks, but he doesn't actually go back to his time. Also, Krillin is still going out with Maron. Vegeta also has an irrational fear of a certain small creature in this tale. The Z fighters are training to beat the androids... well, most of them are training...  
  
I don't own Dragonballz, some characters are slightly warped to add a touch of humour.  
  
*represents thoughts*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
As our story starts, Vegeta is sitting on a rock, contemplating what to do until Goku got back from his vacation. *Damn.* he thought. *How am I ever supposed to keep in shape while that idiot Kakarotto is off in Hawaii with that screeching mate of his? At least she won't be in my hair.*   
  
"Vegeta!"  
  
*Then again...* He went inside to see what Bulma wanted of him THIS time.   
  
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!" Vegeta ran out of the house screaming. Bulma tried calling him back, but he was long gone.   
  
"Dammit!" She turned on her heels and picked up the spider that had accidentally crawled into their kitchen. "Ai. It's just a spider- why is he afraid? I only wanted him to check on Trunks for a few seconds-"  
  
"Who check on what?" mumbled a very, very tired Mirari Trunks.   
  
"Not you, the OTHER Trunks."   
  
"Oh. Well, I'm going back to sleep. If you need me, you'll have to scream really-" /THUMP/ Trunks landed on the floor and was snoring loudly.   
  
*Yeesh.* thought Bulma. * I have the weirdest family.* Meanwhile...  
  
/BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!/   
  
Krillin emerged to find an extremely scared Vegeta standing outside his door.   
  
"What the hell... Vegeta? What's wrong?"  
  
  
"I-i-it-it-t-t's-s a-a s-sp-sp-i-id-de-der-r!"   
  
"A what?"   
  
"An evil arachnid! A terrifying force with eight legs! A hairy nightmare!"   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"I think I know what it is! Is it a spider? Hmm?"   
  
Vegeta just stared for a few moments at the almost complete look alike of Bulma, except that her hair was more blue.  
  
"Don't say that evil word! Yes, that's it."   
  
"Krillin, is this another one of your fighter friends? He sure is cute!" Vegeta's face turned completely red and he just stood there.   
  
"No. Well, kinda. You'd really have to ask him."   
  
"Okay! Hi, I'm Maron, Krillin's girlfriend! Who are you?"  
  
"You actually got a girlfriend? You? Chrome-dome? Has a girlfriend?" Insane laughter seemed to burst out of Vegeta's body at an alarming rate. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Eventually, Krillin got fed up and closed the door in his face, however, Vegeta didn't notice and kept laughing his head off.   
  
"Excuse me, but do you know where the nearest restaurant is?"   
  
Vegeta stopped laughing and turned around to find an attractive young woman behind him. Alongside her was a young man, who looked startlingly similar to the woman beside him. Vegeta guessed they were twins.  
  
"We're really hungry," one of the twins stated. "And we need to find one soon." A typical Vegeta response followed.   
  
"No, I have no idea." he snapped. "I don't have time to talk to the likes of you anyway." With that spoken, he flew at top speed to Capsule Corp., hoping the 'evil arachnid' was gone.   
  
"What a retard! We only asked him where the restaurant was." complained the man.  
  
"Well, Jason, if you hadn't started to complain about how hungry you were, maybe he wouldn't have treated us like that."   
  
"Come on Tina, no matter what we would've said, he still would act like an ass."   
  
"I guess you're right... but we still need to find a restaurant." Jason tapped his foot for a bit, then... "Well, how about we ask the people in this house?"   
  
"Nope."   
  
"Why not? They can't possibly be worse that he is."   
  
"He was visiting the people at that house, and my guess is that if he knows them, they're probably asses as well." Jason pondered that idea for two seconds before knocking on Krillin's door.  
  
"Yes? Hello, who are you?" inquired Krillin.   
  
"I'm Jason, this is my sister Tina. We were wondering if you knew of any restaurants within close distance."   
  
"Sure. There's a Burger King a couple of blocks to your right, and The Olive Garden is three blocks ahead of you, depending on what you like to eat."   
  
"Thanks... what did you say your name was?"   
  
"I didn't, but it's Krillin."   
  
"Well, thanks again and-"   
  
"Krillin! Who's your hot black-haired friend?" Maron burst through the door and took a good look at Jason. "He's even better looking than that spiky haired dude!" Maron walked up to Jason. "Wanna go out some time?"   
  
"Look Maron, if you really want to go out with every guy who shows up at my door, I don't see why you're even here with me, so get out of my life." Krillin violently slammed the door, leaving Maron outside with Jason and Tina.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
What happens next? Wait and see! Oh, a review would be great too ^-^ 


	2. A Burger For Your Thoughts

A/N: Well thanks goes out to Pookie Nookie, who has been the only reviewer so far, you're the greatest! Read on and drop me a line!  
  
I don't own dragonballz  
  
*thoughts*  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Maron was in tears, much to the annoyance of Tina.   
  
"He was so sweet... why does he want to leave me?"   
  
"Well, considering the fact you thought that BEAST we just met was cute, I wonder why he didn't leave you sooner."   
  
"TINA!!"  
  
"Well, Jason, I'm telling it like it is. If you want her... fine. I'm only your sister, all I can do is give advice, like that you'll be dating a complete airhead."   
  
Maron was so busy feeling sorry for herself, she didn't even hear the insult. "Well, I'm going to Burger King. If you're following, YOU can pay for the dumbass." Tina walked away quickly.  
  
Back at Capsule Corp...  
  
" WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FATHER-SON BONDING TIME? I'D BE IN SAFER HANDS  
WITH THE ANDROIDS!!!"   
  
"Calm down Trunks. It won't be that bad."   
  
"WON'T BE THAT BAD??!!! He caught me looking at his used staple collection and chased me around the house with an axe!!!" Mirari Trunks thought for a minute, then shrugged. "Well, good luck trying to convince HIM to go. If you can do that, I'll go. If not..."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I'll need you to do a favour for me."   
  
"Such as...?"   
  
"If, no, WHEN I win, I'll tell you. I need time to think about it."   
  
"You know I'll win this one."   
  
"Sure Mom, sure you will." Unfortunately, Mirari Trunks had no idea that Bulma had a secret plan, and that he would be getting the butt end of the deal.  
  
"Oh, Vegeta..."  
  
"What do you want now?"   
  
"Well, I was just thinking..."   
  
"So was I."   
  
"I was thinking you and Trunks should spend some time together, a kind of father-son thing."   
  
"Didn't I just finish fixing that mobile-music-player-thingy over his crib for you?"   
  
"Not that Trunks!!" By now, Bulma was becoming very exasperated at Vegeta.   
  
"MIRARI Trunks. The one you chased after with an axe after he saw your used stamp collection-"   
  
"THEY WERE STAPLES!!! FURTHERMORE, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I AM  
TAKING THAT BRAT ANYWHERE! ESPECIALLY NOT WHILE I HAVE TO HANG AROUND, AND FURTHERMORE, I- EEEEEEEEEEEEK! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"  
  
"You see, Vegeta dear," Bulma said with an evil grin: "This is my friend, a black widow spider. One bite will kill you."   
  
"I am not affected by any human poisons!"   
  
"I didn't say it kills humans. It does, quite well. Also, did you know that MILLIONS of ape species die each year because of these little guys?"   
  
"So you're saying because I'm a saiyajin, I'll die from this? I'm not afraid to... AAAH! IT'S ON MY SHOULDER!"   
  
"I think it likes you."   
  
"GET IT OFF ME!"   
  
"Only if you agree to take Trunks somewhere."   
  
"ANYTHING!!!" he screamed, "JUST GET IT OFF!"   
  
"You also have to actually stay within 5 feet of him at all times."   
  
"FINE! HELP MEEEEEEE!"   
  
"What's going on in here? Oh, hello Vegeta. There's nothing to worry about. Those species of spiders are completely harmless and-" Dr. Briefs was abruptly cut off by a panicking saiyajin prince.  
  
"I DON'T CARE, SOMEONE GET IT OFF!" Bulma calmly picked up the spider and placed it outside.   
  
"Remember our deal."   
  
"What deal?" Dr. Briefs was thoroughly confused. First, Vegeta got freaked out by a little spider, then Bulma said something about a deal. He decided to go back to working at his lab.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"This is really good, thanks so much for buying this for me Jason!"   
  
"You're welcome, Maron."  
  
"I still don't see why you had to bring her along." Tina took a large bite of her burger.   
  
"Because I like her and she's stupid enough that I can virtually control her."   
  
"I see... well, no complaints from me, it's not like she doesn't deserve it - oh crap."   
  
"What?"   
  
"It's that jerk who was laughing outside Krillin's house, and he's with a purple haired kid who's maybe a few years younger than us."   
  
"Why would he be here, and with a guy who has purple hair? What do you think, Maron? Marron? Where did you-" Jason slowly turned around to find Marron flirting with Mirari Trunks.   
  
"You really look like that guy beside you. He came by my house today. Are you two related?"   
  
"Um, kinda."   
  
"He's my son." Vegeta said the words with so much anger that he was sure Maron would go away and leave them alone, but...   
  
"You must get your good looks from your dad here." Vegeta's entire body turned strawberry red as Marron draped her arms around him.   
  
"He's married, you know." said an amused Mirari Trunks.   
  
"Oh really? That's too bad, since he's so DAMN sexy..." Marron unwrapped herself from Vegeta, then advanced towards Mirari Trunks.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
What happens next? Will Jason flip? Will Trunks succumb to the slutty force that is Marron? Find out next time! (Oh, and if you like humour, check out Small Minds in a Vast Universe, by me. Warning, it is rather insane humour.) Let me know what you think so far! 


	3. You Know Who You Are!

Hey everybody, it's the next chapter! Thanks for the reviews and hope ya like this one!  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
*thoughts*  
~*switch scenes or beginning/end of story*~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"...you're single, aren't you?" said Maron lustfully.  
  
"That's it!!" After yelling loud enough to silence the entire Burger King, Jason started in on Maron. "What the hell is with you?? First you flirt with some lavender-haired punk, then you hug the ASS that was so damn annoying to us before I even met you??!!"   
  
"I... I..." Maron was silenced, for she couldn't think of anything to say. The silence didn't last long though.   
  
"AAAAh! It's them!"   
  
"Who? Who is it brat?"   
  
"Th-th-them!!"   
  
Vegeta was getting pissed at Mirari Trunks, very pissed indeed. "Who, dammit?!!" Unfortunately, Mirari Trunks had already fainted out of sheer terror. "First you bug me with your incessant whining about being hungry, then you cause my son to faint. What the heck is wrong with you???!!"   
  
"It's not like it was our fault, you know." yelled an angry Tina.   
  
"Well then, whose fault was it??" Mirari Trunks started mumbling something while trying to stand up. "What is it, brat?"   
  
"The androids... not... supposed... to... come... this... early..."   
  
"They aren't supposed to come for another 3 months!"   
  
Jason, Tina and Maron could only stare in disbelief as Vegeta and Mirari Trunks seemed to be going nuts.   
  
"Um... who exactly are these 'androids?'" asked a dumbfounded Tina.   
  
"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO YOU ARE 18!!!" screamed Mirari Trunks.   
  
The manager of Burger King walked over to Vegeta. "Excuse me, um... sir?" He didn't get a chance to finish however, because Vegeta was already removing Mirari Trunks from the building.   
  
"I WILL KILL YOU TWO!!" Mirari Trunks kept on screaming even as Vegeta picked him up and flew him back to Capsule Corp.   
  
*Weird. Those two couldn't possibly be the androids though. They're too stupid.* With these thoughts in mind, Vegeta went faster and faster.  
  
"That's it, I've had enough of this craziness. I'm leaving." Tina started out of the building.   
  
"I'm coming with you." Jason followed.   
  
"Can I come?" asked Maron, still clueless that he obviously didn't like her anymore.   
  
"NO!!" he raged before slamming the door in her face. "So Tina, why did that boy call you '18' anyway?"   
  
"I have absolutely no idea. Y'know, we should really get a car. You and I both have a license, why don't we go buy one??"   
  
"Good idea. But where should we go?"   
  
"Look, there's a sign. It says 'Gerry Gero's Used Car Lot, 2 blocks to your right'. How about there?"   
  
"Good enough." The two of them then walked over to the driving school.  
  
"Hello, and who might you be?" *A specimen for my taking perhaps?* Dr. Gero was needing two humans for his next experiment. His hatred for Goku still raged within him, and he was willing to do anything to kill him.   
  
"Hi, we're here to test out a minivan."  
  
"Gee, I WONDER WHY you'd want a MINIVAN."drawled Tina.  
  
"I'm a teenage guy! What do you expect?" Jason stood with Tina in front of Dr. Gero's desk.   
  
"Call me Gerry. I'm the owner. Will both of you be test driving?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Excellent. I'll come with you, nothing personal, we've just had a few cars stolen in the last couple of weeks. Drive wherever your heart desires."   
  
"Sure, let's just hurry. I'm sick and tired of walking everywhere. I keep meeting these weirdos." complained Tina.   
  
"Don't worry, we'll have you driving in no time."   
  
"How much is the van probably going to cost?" asked Jason.   
  
"We'll talk about that once you've gone for a scenic drive." Little did they know that they would soon be unconscious. In fact, in 3 months, they would no longer be people as we know it...  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"WHY ARE YOU BACK SO SOON?" screamed a PMSing Bulma.  
  
"Trunks freaked out and fainted, so I brought him back here." explained a perturbed Vegeta. "Now, if you don't mind, I've had my share of dealing with unpleasantries today, so LEAVE ME ALONE!!" He then stalked away to the gravity room. Mirari Trunks had fainted again, so Bulma  
place him on the couch.   
  
*What is going on with my family? I feel like my baby and I are the only sane ones left.* Bulma then left the room to cook dinner.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Three months later, Mirari Trunks, Gohan, Piccolo, Yamucha, Tien, Chaozu, Krillin and Vegeta were waiting for the androids to arrive.   
  
"What are these androids like, Trunks?"   
  
"Well Chaozu, they're ruthless killers. They've already wiped out almost everyone in my time. Anyway, where's Goku?"   
  
"Ever since we all got back from our vacation, my dad wouldn't even set foot outside."   
  
"Why not, Gohan?"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Why WOULDN'T Goku go outside? Isn't he nature boy? What happened to Jason and Tina? Has Trunks gone nuts? Find out next time! Please leave a review, PLEEEEEAAASSSEEEE!! 


	4. Old People Lack Fashion Sense

A/N: Been a while? Sorry! I've been busy with drama performances and life in general. Hope you like this one. This story is actually more action than humour. If you like crazy humour better, I suggest you read my fics "My, My, My", it's seqel, "How I Long To Hear Their Tortured Screams", "So, How Do YOU get the inside out?", "When Psychos Escape", or, my most recent fic "Small minds in a vast universe."  
That said, enjoy the chapter!  
  
I don't own dragonballz  
*thoughts*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Well, he looks a little weird... my mom insisted that he get a 'new image'."  
  
"Hmpf. Serves Kakarroto right for falling into that deadly woman trap."  
  
"Whaddya mean, Vegeta?"   
  
"You're too young to understand it now, but believe me, you will one day."   
  
"Okay..." Gohan was still confused.   
  
ZAP!   
  
Goku was suddenly standing near the others.   
  
"Kakarotto, what in hell were you thinking? You... you...  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You look hilarious!!! HAHAHAHA!!"   
  
The other Z fighters couldn't help laughing themselves, because poor Goku had his hair dyed blue, red contacts, a purple gi, and on top of all that he also had a bluish-greenish fake tail attached to himself. "Shut up Vegeta. Let's just kill these androids so I can go home and hide again."  
  
"You're definitely not yourself, Goku."   
  
"No kidding, Piccolo."   
  
"Well, anyway, we should-" Piccolo didn't finish his sentence. For in the sky, something moved extremely fast.   
  
"That must be them, but how come we can't sense them?"   
  
"Well, Tien, they're androids, so maybe they have no ki to sense." said Gohan. It suddenly came into realization that it wouldn't be so easy to defeat this new enemy, even with all they training they had done.  
  
They all agreed to search the city below them for the androids. Yamucha found them first, and signaled the others. Only by the time they got there, Yamucha's energy was being absorbed by an old-looking man with shorts that were waaaaaaaaaaaay to puffy for anyone to wear.   
  
"What the hell? That isn't them!"   
  
"What do you mean it isn't them, boy? No ordinary human being could possibly absorb energy like that!" yelled Vegeta.   
  
"They aren't the same ones as in my time! How could this be?" Mirari Trunks was trying to figure out how the events had altered so much, when Goku went up to the other android, who looked like a fat porcelain clown, and told him that he would fight him, but not here.   
  
"We shall go somewhere else, Goku, if you think it is really necessary." stated the old man/android.   
  
"How do you know my name?"   
  
"Myself and android 19 know everything about you, Goku. 19 will fight you, and will be the only one to fight, for I am sure he can finish the job well enough on his own. Oh, excuse me, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is android 20. How do you do?"   
  
"Enough of this crap, let's just go so Kakarotto can cream you both into a pulp and I can continue making fun of his 'new image'. Hehehe."   
  
"Vegeta, shut up before I kill you, and I mean it this time."   
  
"Sure aqua boy, whatever you say." Goku was getting rapidly more and more pissed off with Vegeta. He then took off, with everyone else in close pursuit.  
  
Once Goku found an open place where no more innocent people could be killed (ie, a desert with mountains, where ALL DBZ fights are held), he stopped and waited for everyone else to catch up.   
  
"So you say you know everything about me, do you?"  
  
"Why, yes." said android 20. "Our creator, Dr. Gero, programmed us with all the information gathered on his cyberfly. I'm sure you know him from the Red Ribbon Army. After Vegeta left the earth, Dr. Gero had gathered enough information to create the perfect being - the being that would be able to destroy you. Or rather, the beings."   
  
"What about the other androids?"   
  
"What other androids? And just who are you, purple-haired punk?"   
  
"DON'T PLAY DUMB! THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP! YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL  
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!! WHERE ARE 17 AND 18???!!!" Mirari Trunks' screams echoed around the vast cliffs. He then fainted again, this time from exhaustion.   
  
"So, 20, Dr. Gero never saw what happened to me in space?"   
  
"As I said, there was already enough data. He didn't need to track your movements any longer."   
  
"Well then, he made a huge mistake... HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" and Goku powered up to Super Saiyajin.   
  
"Interesting." commented 20. "However, your power increase is one we can easily overcome. 19?"   
  
"I shall finish him off quickly."   
  
Goku then ran at 19. Each of them had their series of kicks and punches, and for a while, it looked as if Goku had the upper hand. Alas, it seemed that Goku was breathing heavier, a lot heavier for some reason...   
  
"The virus! It must be attacking him now!" yelled Gohan. The crew had Yamucha take Goku home to take the medicine Mirari Trunks had given him who, by the way, was still unconscious on the ground. Android 19 tried to stop them, but it was VEGETA who got in the way.   
  
"I'm not about to let anyone else kill Kakarotto besides myself." He then preceded to power up... until he reached... the level of Super Saiyajin for the first time.  
  
He killed android 19 with ease, then challenged 20 to take him on. Of course, 20 wasn't as stupid as 19, so he ran on foot to get away. None of the Z fighters could figure out where he went. Finally, Mirari Trunks woke up.   
  
"Where did they go?"   
  
"The androids? 19 got killed, and 20 ran away somewhere." said Krillin.   
  
"19 and 20? Those aren't the androids from my time. The ones I know are 17 and 18, a boy and a girl who could be twins. The boy has a red scarf and shoulder length black hair. The girl has blond hair and wears a blue vest."   
  
"Hey, it's Bulma!" said Gohan. Bulma landed on the ground safely. Then she and Yajirobe stepped out of her hovercraft. She had baby Trunks with her.   
  
"Who's that?" asked Tien.   
  
"That's me." said Mirari Trunks.   
  
"Huh?" Everyone was really confused, except for Piccolo, who knew exactly what was going on.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Did ya like it? Hope you did! Let me know what you think and have a super day! 


	5. Them Androids Sure Do Look Familiar

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, here's the next chapter!  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
*thoughts*  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Yes, that's him. He told Goku 3 years ago when he first came."   
  
"Oh." was all Tien could say.   
  
"That guy who was running away... he looked really familiar... I'm sure my dad knew him or something."   
  
"Well Bulma, how did he know him?"   
  
"I'm not sure Trunks... wait... I know! That's Dr. Gero, I'm sure of it!"   
  
"WHAT?????!!!!" Everyone stared at Bulma in complete shock.  
  
"Yeah, that's him all right. My dad told me his lab is about 20 miles from here - but didn't you say he was killed, Trunks?"   
  
"He was in my time."   
  
"Well, things have changed. Goku is still alive, and so are most of us. Tell me Trunks, what did the androids from your time look like? If 20 is really Gero, chances are 19 wasn't even one of the original two androids from Trunks' time."  
  
"There aren't any androids named 19 and 20 in my time, Piccolo. Their names are 17 and 18. 17 is a young boy with black hair and an orange scarf. 18 is a blond - beautiful, but deadly. The thing that scares me the most is their eyes. Looking at them is like looking at a cold icy death."   
  
"So, from what you're saying, Gero's lab is within 20 miles, and 19 isn't one of the original androids?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Don't any of you get it by now??" Everyone stared at Vegeta. "He's gone to activate the other two androids. Why else would he flee to this area?"   
  
"Why did he leave on foot then, smartass?"   
  
"Because, chrome-dome, he knows we can't sense his ki and it would be harder for us to find him if he's closer to the ground!"   
  
Everyone let the horrible truth sink in for a few moments.  
  
"I'm going." said Mirari Trunks as he blasted off in the direction of Dr. Gero's lab.  
  
*Those fools will never be able to find me, or my lab, unless... dammit! That was Dr. Briefs' daughter! She knows the whereabouts of my lab! Shit! * Dr. Gero started to run even faster. *Dammit, that purple-haired kid is gaining on me.* Dr. Gero sped up even more and eventually reached his lab. Meanwhile...  
  
"Dammit, where is he??" Mirari Trunks was flying slower, hoping to spot Dr. Gero before he could activate 17 and 18. He wasn't getting very far, and Dr. Gero was nowhere to be found.   
  
"Trunks!"   
  
"Krillin! What are you doing?"   
  
"Helping you, obviously. Bulma says Gero's lab is located in a cave or something. She doesn't quite remember-" but Mirari Trunks had already sped off leaving Krillin alone. *Some thanks I get. Yeesh. Everyone takes me for granted.* He flew after Mirari Trunks, with Vegeta and the others in hot pursuit.  
  
Mirari Trunks stopped, then flew down towards a small cave opening in a tall mountain. The others followed close behind.   
  
"HEY! I AM NOT GOING TO BE LEFT BEHIND AGAIN, DO YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ME??" It turned out everyone had left Bulma behind, so she had to fly in her hovercraft - and she wasn't happy.   
  
"Look woman, we're trying save the world here, and we don't need your bitching on top of all things."   
  
"I don't even know why I bother to put up with you sometimes Vegeta, I just don't know."   
  
"Probably because Yamucha cheated again."   
  
"JUST WHAT DID YOU MUMBLE THERE KRILLIN??!!"   
  
Krillin shook as he answered the tyrannic scientist."Um, er... ah... nothing... hehe."   
  
"Good." Bulma stalked over to the hovercraft. "If you guys don't want me here, fine, I'll leave."   
  
"Go with her, Gohan."   
  
"But Piccolo! You guys might need me!"   
  
"You should check on your dad, just in case."   
  
"Oh, all right." Gohan trudged into the hovercraft along with Bulma and baby Trunks. They took off quickly.   
  
"Why are you so mean to her?"   
  
"Look boy, I have better things to do than listen to your mother complain. Now stand aside. I have to break open the metal doors on the inside of this cave." Vegeta powered up and fired a blast at the doors. For a minute it looked as if the doors were too strong, but then the blast broke through.   
  
When the smoke cleared, there stood Dr. Gero, along with androids 17 and 18.   
  
"What the hell..." said Vegeta and Krillin.   
  
"No way are those two the androids. Trunks - those aren't them, right?"  
  
"Yes Krillin, it's them."   
  
"Impossible... they were perfectly normal three months ago..."   
  
"What do you mean Da-"   
  
Vegeta gave Trunks that was a cross between annoyed and murderouss.  
  
"Er... Vegeta?"   
  
"Much better. Remember when you completely spazzed out at the Burger King, yelling and screaming at those two people, claiming they were the androids?"   
  
"Oh yeah... I guess I was right then."   
  
"No way. No fucking way - they can't be androids. They just can't! Since when do androids ask for directions and then go on a date?"   
  
17 and 18 had puzzled looks on their faces, wondering just what they had been awoken to.  
  
"Do you have any idea what the little bald guy is talking about, 17?"   
  
"I have no clue, 18. We have more important things to do, though."   
  
"Right."   
  
Out of nowhere, 17 proceeded to kick Dr. Gero across his lab.   
  
"What are you doing?? I am your creator!"   
  
"You aren't gong to put us to sleep again... old man." 17 viciously said before cutting off Gero's head. Unfortunately, Dr. Gero didn't feel like shutting up yet.   
  
"You cannot turn on me! I forbid y-" His speech was faltered, for 17 jumped and landed on his head with a sickening crunch.   
  
"Now that that's over, lets uncover 16, shall we?"   
  
"Good idea, 18."   
  
"NOOOO! IF THAT CREATURE GETS LOOSE IT WILL BE THE END OF US ALL!" raged Mirari Trunks. He went Super Sayajin right away and powered up fully. He shot a powerful beam at the entire lab itself. Smoke was everywhere, and the Z fighters had barely got out of the way of the blast. Everyone seemed to be coughing, and when the dust cleared, the androids were standing there, completely unharmed. 18 was holding the case where 16 was encased... with one hand. It was gigantic and plain, and it sported a "Milwaukee or Bust" sticker on it.  
  
  
"Stupid move, boy. Now they know how strong you are." remarked Vegeta. Mirari Trunks was getting quickly pissed off, but for the sake of his mental well-being, he kept his mouth shut..   
  
SLAM!   
  
18 threw down the case and pressed a button. The top slowly opened as the Z fighters silently prayed to God that they would survive. The android that emerged was a tall, muscular man with short orange hair that blew in the wind. His eyes were the same colour as 18 and 17's.   
  
*He looks like Rekuum.* thought Vegeta.   
  
"Why don't you speak up?" 17 started questioning the android, but he remained silent. "What is your name?" Still, the android didn't speak. "Well are you going help us kill Goku or-"   
  
"My name is 16. Dr. Gero created me for the sole purpose of destroying Goku. That is all."   
  
"At least that helps some. Come then, let's find Goku."   
  
"We have to get rid of these pests first, 17. I don't want them in the way when we find Goku."   
  
"You won't have to worry about us being there when you find Kakarotto, because you won't be alive to find him." Vegeta lowered himself to the ground.   
  
"Big words for a little man." smirked 18. It almost seemed to Tien that Vegeta growled at this remark.   
  
"At least I have the strength to back them up."   
  
"Oh really? We'll see." 18 smiled, then flipped her hair back, only to have it in front of her face again.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Did ya like? Lemee know and have a good day! 


	6. Piccolo Vs The Moutains

A/N: Hey there! Thanks for the reviews, here we go now!  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
POW!   
  
18 punched Vegeta quite unexpectedly. He only flew a few feet before stopping in mid-air.   
  
"Is that the best you can do, android? HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Vegeta then transformed to Super Saiyajin for the second time.  
  
He came in fast and delivered a good punch to 18, who was driven into a nearby mountain. She seemed to be unaffected after she got up. Vegeta threw a combination of punches and small energy blasts - they were quite powerful - and managed to get some kicks in as well. 18 was a bit roughed up, nothing more. Her clothes were torn, but that was all.   
  
"You two are even more annoying than the last time we met, but at least this time you can put up a fight. By the way, can an android feel pain? Because if you can, you will be quite soon."   
  
"First of all, I have never met you ever. Second of all, the person who will be in pain is you."   
  
"I doubt that... Tina."   
  
"My name is 18, and I don't doubt it." snapped the blond. She disappeared and reappeared behind Vegeta, giving him a harsh blow to the back with her elbow. The saiyajin went flying into Piccolo and they both crashed into a pine tree.   
  
"CAN'T YOU EVEN FIGHT A DAMN ANDROID WITHOUT ALMOST KILLING SOMEONE ELSE IN THE PROCESS? Oh, that's right, I forgot. I'm not supposed to question the authority of the 'Prince of all Saiyajins.'"   
  
"You goddamn Namek! I'll kill you for-"   
  
"I thought we were supposed to kill the androids... not each other!"   
  
"You're right Chaozu, it's just that his high arseness gets pissed off easily."   
  
Vegeta growled at Piccolo for a brief second before 18 swung him around like a baton and threw him on the ground.   
  
"I wonder. Are all you Saiyajins this full of yourself? Is Goku anything like you? Thinking you can actually do anything when in fact you're so weak it's scary?"   
  
"No, Goku's nothing like Vegeta. They're complete opposites."  
  
"Yeah, I actually have a fashion sense."  
  
"No one asked you!"  
  
"No one asked you either, BALDY."  
  
18 turned around to see Krillin floating nearby, glaring at Vegeta.   
  
"Goku is the most gentle, caring person who ever walked the universe. He's a great friend and is always there in a jam. He only fights when he has to, and has a wife and son. The only thing wrong with him might be that he took martial arts lessons with an old pervert - a really old, really sick pervert - but other than that he's completely innocent. Why do you want to kill him?"   
  
"What a lovely bunch of sappy crap."  
  
"VEGETA, SHUT UP!" yelled a rather annoyed Krillin.  
  
18 stood there for a second, letting all the information sink in before answering. "What about the red ribbon army? He defeated all of them."   
  
"Like I said, only when he HAS to does Goku fight. The red ribbon army wanted to take over the world and often stole the dragon balls out of our very hands. He even let Dr. Gero live... and that's why you don't remember who you were."   
  
"I know damn well who I am!"   
  
"Vegeta already said who you were. Before you became an android you were a girl named Tina. 17 over there was your brother. His name was Jason."   
  
"What did the bald guy say about me, 18?"   
  
"Some crap about us being human at one point, and that we were related. What do you think about all thi-"  
  
CRACK!   
  
Vegeta kicked 18 into Krillin and the two collided with the rock, Piccolo beneath them..   
  
"WHY DOES EVERYONE PICK ON ME?? VEGETA! STOP GETTING ME DRIVEN INTO THE FUCKING MOUNTAINS ALREADY!"  
  
"My ears! Piccolo, could you tone it down a bit... maybe A LOT??"   
  
"Sorry Krillin. Prince Midget doesn't seem to like me, so I'm going to kick his ass now. Screw the androids, we'll fight them later."   
  
"You think you have a chance?" 18 slowly crawled out of the huge hole in the mountain. For some reason, she was beaten up the most out of all three of them, probably because of the wolverine living in the mountain tunnels. 17 started to snicker.   
  
"You look a lot worse than he does!"   
  
"Shut up 17! I can handle Vegeta way better than this Namek here."   
  
"I'm sure. What kind of crap are you spewing out there, little guy?"   
  
"I'm not spewing crap." Krillin got up and brushed his clothes of the surrounding dust. "You two are related, I'm serious. You dated my ex as well."   
  
"Whah?"   
  
"She was flirting with you when you stopped to ask directions to the nearest restaurant. That's when I slammed the door in her face and you guys left."   
  
"I don't remember any of this... weak freak... you say the same thing?"   
  
Vegeta growled vehemently at the statement. "Android, I didn't realize that slut was Krillin's at one point, but I guess he couldn't do any better."   
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Anyway, yes you were with that blue-haired bimbo at the restaurant with the other blond android over there. You got mad at her because she liked Trunks."   
  
"She was going after you, Da... er... Vegeta."   
  
"Shut up!"   
  
"Hey, that's right!" Krillin's face then adopted a sinister look, one quite foreign on his nose-free face. "You came by the house after you were afraid of the 'evil arachnid' and Marron was flirting with you and-"   
  
"I SAID SHUT UP!!!"   
  
"It's not his fault you're afraid of spiders, Vegeta." Everyone turned and looked at 18, mouths agape. The black-haired cyborg gave her a questioning, calculating look before questioning her.  
  
*I didn't fart, did I?* "So you're sticking up for him?" *She's infatuated, this is hilarious.*  
  
"No..." 18 couldn't think of anything to say, because she had just defended the enemy against Vegeta.. who was on their side...  
  
*Argh! This is so confusing. Why is everyone staring at me? I just said a few words!*  
  
18 wasn't feeling good at that particular moment, and 17 didn't help.   
  
"So, got the hots for cue-ball here?"   
  
"WHAT??!!!"   
  
Vegeta's insane laughter soon echoed through the mountains, along with everyone else's snickers. Krillin turned tomato red and was speechless.  
  
"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR CUE-BALL OVER THERE!!"  
  
"Hey cue-ball!" shouted the ebony-haired android jovially.   
  
"What??"   
  
"What's your real name... pretend I care for a moment if it helps you answer."   
  
17 stood grinning as Krillin was still very red.   
  
"Krillin."   
  
"Well, at least you can call lover-boy by his real name now, 18."   
  
"YOU SONOFABITCH! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I WILL TEAR YOU LIMB  
FROM LIMB!!!!"   
  
18 started to attack 17 very harshly, starting with a roundhouse kick to his jaw. Then, the femme fatale came from beneath him and punched him high into the sky. After that she reappeared above him and pinned him to the ground, almost knocking him senseless.   
  
"It (cough) was just a joke...(cough cough)..."   
  
"You two shouldn't be fighting. We have to find Goku."   
  
"You know what 16? I don't give a shit about finding Goku right now. Once I kill 17, THEN we can go find Goku. By the way, what do you think about the shit we've heard?"   
  
"What shit? And would you mind not being so profane?"   
  
"About 17 and I being related. I'll be as fucking profane as I want too, OKAY?"   
  
16 was silent for a long time.   
  
"Well, speak up already!"   
  
"Give him some time! He is your teammate, right?"   
  
"Whose side are you on, Tien?"   
  
"At least I don't have the enemy flirting with me."   
  
Krillin shut up very fast, turning from red to beet purple.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
There we go! Let me know what you think! 


	7. Down For The Count

A/N: Hey there, here's the next chapter... BIG thanks goes out to Pookie Nookie, who is my most constant reviewer... and pretty well my only reviewer, save a few folks. Anyhow, on with the story!  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
*thoughts*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Vegeta was still laughing from the time he started.   
  
"Is he ever going to run out of breath or something? My ears are killing me!"   
  
"Well Trunks, knowing Vegeta... it'll be a while."   
  
"Just great." Chaozu and Mirari Trunks both sat down and sighed. Vegeta kept laughing, unaware of any sound or speech.   
  
"18."   
  
"What is it 16? Tell me already! I don't have all day!"   
  
"Krillin isn't lying."   
  
"WHAT??"   
  
"Neither is Vegeta."  
  
"WHAT?????!!!!!" yelled all who were present.   
  
"You and 17 were both average teenagers, brother and sister before Dr. Gero changed you into androids. I'm not sure why Dr. Gero even gave me this information. He said you two were resilient enough."  
  
17 and 18 stood in shock as the truth sunk in.   
  
"No way (cough). How could he get his hands on us? We were supposedly perfectly normal people. Wouldn't somebody have noticed we were missing?"   
  
"You two were orphans, and Dr. Gero set up a trap to get two subjects... a driving school was placed. 17, you were too reckless and crashed the car. Dr. Gero survived because he had already become an android. You two were barely alive... and that's when he brought you to his lab and you became 17 and 18."   
  
"Did I really date Marron or what?"  
  
"I have no idea."   
  
"See! (cough) You can't prove it Ve(cough)geta!"   
  
Vegeta stopped laughing for the moment. "We all know it's true anyway. Besides... who else would a slut like that be attracted to... except for Krillin."   
  
"She sure as hell was flirting with you pretty damn heavily."  
  
Vegeta shut up immediately after Trunks cut in. He figured he better teach Mirari Trunks a lesson in battle... once the androids were done with... and once he healed. He wasn't about to let anyone know he was badly injured.   
  
"Well, I guess I won't kill you... quite yet, seeing as how we're related 17."   
  
"18, you couldn't kill me. I'm stronger than you and-"   
  
"HAHAHAHAHA! You, stronger than HER? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" and Vegeta began another one of his 5 hour laughing sprees while Mirari Trunks and Chaozu held their hands over their ears.   
  
"Look 17-"   
  
"Jason."  
  
"Whatever. I really don't care 16. Not at the moment. But one more word out of Jason here about Krillin and I and Jason dies. You hear me Jason?   
  
"Loud and (cough) clear sis."   
  
"Now, I'm going to finish my fight with Vegeta, if you two don't mind."18 walked over to Vegeta. "So, are you ready to lose?"   
  
"I doubt it."   
  
"Well too bad for you, cuz you don't have a choice." and with that said, 18 proceeded to kick Vegeta's ass. HARD.   
  
*Shit. Now I'm even more injured than before. I guess I'll just die here.*   
  
"Prepare to die, asshole!" 18 drew in a huge amount of energy, but when she was about to release it, Mirari Trunks was standing there.  
  
"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I AM GOING TO LET YOU LIVE A SECOND TIME!!"   
  
"What, you were going to kill me in the restaurant? I would hope you're not that stupid."   
  
"He is."   
  
"I didn't ask you, Vegeta."  
  
"He was raging mad. He thought at that time you were already the androids and went berserk. Thank Kami he fainted or Burger King would've been destroyed."   
  
"Since when have you cared about other people besides yourself?" challenged Mirari Trunks.   
  
"I just didn't want to have to fly any further to get a whopper with cheese, that's all."   
  
"Well, whopper or not, neither of you have a chance against me."   
  
The three stood for a moment before Mirari Trunks suddenly whipped out his sword, screamed "DIE, BITCH!" out loud and brought the sword down on 18's head, where it made a huge...  
  
CLANG!... but nothing more.   
  
"What the...."   
  
"Did you actually think you could kill me with that puny sword?" mocked 18.   
  
Vegeta started to snicker.  
  
"What the hell is so damn funny?"  
  
"Well android, I find it interesting how you know how large his 'sword' is, so to speak."  
  
"You sick freak!"  
  
Vegeta's snickers almost broke into laughter, but didn't get time as 18 slammed Mirari Trunks into him. The two saiyajins fell with tremendous force onto the ground and were rendered unconscious.   
  
"Stupid fools, why does everyone think that I'm weaker-  
  
SLAM!  
  
Piccolo came from behind and threw 18 into the ground. He had the advantage - for two seconds. 18 came back and threw a blow to his chest, then kicked him in the groin. She was a bit puzzled when Piccolo came back and threw a punch to her jaw.   
  
"Why don't you buckle over like most guys who get kicked in the nuts?"   
  
"Piccolo is asexual, and doesn't have nuts."   
  
"I didn't ask you, 3 eyes. And unlike Vegeta, I DON'T want to know how you know that."  
  
Tien shut up and backed away. It was obvious to him that the femme fatale was a force to be reckoned with.   
  
"Is that true?" 18 questioned the Namekian.   
  
"Yes, and why would you care?"   
  
"Just curious."   
  
POW!  
  
Piccolo went flying into Vegeta and Mirari Trunks. Piccolo also went unconscious.   
  
"Like I said... why does everyone think that I'm weaker than they are?? Someone answer me that!"   
  
"I don't think that."   
  
18 turned around to see Krillin standing there. "Really."   
  
"Yes. I know I would get my ass kicked if I took you on. It's just that Vegeta has too much pride and doesn't know when to quit. The others couldn't sense your power level because you're an android. So they thought they might as well try. I credit them for that."   
  
"At least you're the smart one not to challenge us."   
  
"I don't care."   
  
"You (cough) should." 17/Jason tried to stand up, but fell down. 18 had beaten him thoroughly, but to any gym teacher I know... he just looked like he was a druggie and had smoker's cough. "Being smart is what keeps you alive."   
  
"Tell that to the people who killed me twice!"   
  
Both the androids shut up and let Krillin continue speaking while Tien and Chaozu trembled in fear.   
  
"Being smart may keep the strong people alive, but being brave is what saves people's lives and makes you respected and remembered. I know everyone remembers me as a coward, and I hate it. I hate it even more because it's true."   
  
"That's not true Krillin, you're one of the bravest people I know."   
  
"Chaozu... you don't know anyone! You've been isolated in a palace and training with your former assassin for your entire life."   
  
The white faced boy had nothing to say after that.   
  
"I don't want any more fighting, but if that's what it takes to protect Goku, all of us will go against you, whether we win or lose."   
  
18 paused for a minute, digesting yet another one of Krillin's smart/emotional/Oprah-worthy speeches.   
  
*They care this much about Goku. What's so great about him? Maybe he's perfect. Nah, no one's perfect... but we were created to be perfect! Our very lives were stolen so that Dr. Gero could kill a good, kind person with so many who care about him. I hate this! I just want to be Tina again! I can't even remember anything and that's what hurts the most! I really think Krillin should go on Oprah.*   
  
"Are you... okay?" asked Tien of 18.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That's all for now, hope you liked it, let me know what you think! Happy New Year everyone! 


	8. Does Vegeta Need Laxatives?

A/N: Well, school's back, I'll update as often as I humanly can, but considering I may not be human, I'll update whenever I freakin' want!   
Mwuahaha!   
  
Anyways, I don't own Dragonballz  
  
*represents thoughts.*  
  
~*~  
  
"No, I'm not okay. I'm not even fucking human - HOW CAN I POSSIBLY BE OKAY??" Her question echoed around the mountains... but no one could answer her. "I'm leaving."   
  
"What, with me all injured?"  
  
"LOOK 17, ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOURSELF! IF YOU WERE EVER MY BROTHER  
I'M SURE AS HELL YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS. YOU AREN'T MY  
BROTHER. YOU'RE A BLOODTHIRSTY MACHINE!!"  
  
"And you're not?"  
  
Silence was all that could be heard for the longest time, then 18 started to walk away.   
  
"Where are you going?"   
  
"Why would you care, three eyes? Anyways, I'm headed off to Capsule Corp. If anyone will be able to kill me, I'm sure they will."  
  
18's sudden suicidal behaviour seemed completely bizarre, and it certainly didn't go unnoticed.  
  
"WHAT?? You can't just kill yourself because of what you've done, there's still hope-"  
  
"Shut up Krillin! If I can't go back to being me, then there's no point of me existing."   
  
"There's one way."   
  
18 stopped in her tracks. "How? Tell me what-ever-your-name-is, how do I become human?"   
  
"It's Tien, by the way. Not three eyes, not pansy assassin, TIEN!!!" The three-eyed man cleared his throat. "A-HEM. Oh, and if you make a wish on the dragonballs, you can become human... and maybe get your memory back as well."   
  
"These dragonballs... what the hell are they anyways?"   
  
"There are 7 round gold spheres with a different number of stars on them. Once you get numbers 1 through 7, you can summon Shenlong, the eternal dragon... but..."   
  
"But what?"   
  
"Kame created them... so you can't kill Piccolo."   
  
"What does the Namek have anything to do with this?" asked 18, glancing at the aforementioned unconscious green-skinned man.   
  
"He's the child of the evil embodiment of Kame, the guardian of the earth. So, if you kill him, you kill Kame and the dragonballs cease to exist." 18 paused for a moment.  
  
"How do you find them?"   
  
"Errrr..." Tien didn't quite join the original gang in their search for the dragonballs, so he couldn't answer. Fortunately, Krillin could, and did.   
  
"You need a dragonball locator."   
  
"And how the hell do you think I'm going to be able to find one of those??"   
  
"Calm down and let me finish! You'll have to go to Capsule Corp. anyways to talk to Bulma. She created the thing. Of course, you're gonna have to explain why you want it, and then she'll know you're an android..."   
  
"Tina."   
  
"What is it 16?" she practically growled, which didn't unnerve the metal giant in the slightest.   
  
"Have Krillin get the device for you, if being human is what you wish."   
  
"Good idea."   
  
"Um, yeah, sure I'll just tell Bulma I need it to... kill the androids or grow some hair... or something. She'll buy that... I hope."   
  
"For your sake you better hope so." threatened an angry yet hopeful android.   
  
*Gulp. Here you go again Krillin. In the exact wrong place at the wrong time... what's wrong with me anyways?*   
  
Krillin, Tien, Chaozu and 18 headed off in the direction of Capsule Corp, leaving 16, 17 and the unconscious fighters below them behind. Of course, VEGETA didn't stay unconscious for long.   
  
"What the hell... where did cue-ball and the others go?"   
  
"They (cough, cough, hack) went to go get the dragonball locator-thingy-or-other."   
  
"Don't hack up a hairball now. Wait... you mean to say that your bitch of a sister let those three live? Why would they even tell her about the dragonballs? I guess they wanted to live for a few more hours."   
  
"Actually, Vegeta-"   
  
"Shut up, Rekuum-lookalike. Your looks scare me, seriously, and I don't get scared easily."  
  
17 stifled a giggle that threatened to spill out, all the same, he still received Vegeta's famous death glare.   
  
"I don't really care what those idiots think." said the saiyajin prince haughtily.   
  
"Tina wants to be human. They left to find the dragonballs."   
  
"Didn't I say shut... what?"   
  
"18 wants..."   
  
"I heard him the first time you idiot." Vegeta snapped at the raven-haired cyborg.  
  
"Well excuuuse me Mr. constipated wiener dog voice."  
  
Vegeta bristled, but chose to ignore 17, as he was more interested in the present situation with the blond android who had left earlier.  
  
Soon Trunks and Piccolo came around.   
  
"Ow. My antennae are completely busted. I'll never be able to freak out the guy who owns that store anymore. What was it called again? I can't remember. I do remember it had Beanie Babies. Those were so cool!! Oh well. Ow."   
  
"What's the matter, green bean? Can't see without your little stalks on your head?"   
  
"Very funny, prince midget."   
  
"WHERE DID SHE GO? I'LL KILL HER!!!"screamed Mirari Trunks.  
  
"Shit boy, calm down! She left."   
  
"What do you mean, she left?" hissed Vegeta's future son.   
  
"Like I said, she left. With chrome-dome, three-eyes and goth-doll boy. They went to go find the dragonballs."   
  
"Who did she leave with?"   
  
Piccolo rolled his eyes and translated Vegeta's name-calling scheme for Mirari Trunks.   
  
"Oh. Tien, Chaozu and Krillin. Why the hell are they helping her?"   
  
Piccolo decided to step in. "Well Trunks, maybe they don't want to die today."   
  
"I guess that's a good enough reason. Oh shit, what's she going to wish for? What if Goku dies?"  
  
"Kakarotto isn't going to die. The android wants to be human again... but that's what they said, and I don't believe that crap. I'm going to fight her, and beat her this time. Adios, mis amigos."  
  
Vegeta took off in the direction of Capsule Corp, thinking he should really get a Spanish cape and go bull wrestling, with Mirari Trunks and Piccolo close behind.  
  
Meanwhile, at the ever famous Capsule Corp...  
  
"So you need the dragonball locator... why? And who's that girl beside you, Krillin? Is she your GIRLfriend?" Bulma giggled and winked at the stunted human, causing him to turn cherry red.  
  
"NO! She's not. Um... we need it to destroy the androids."   
  
"The dragonballs weren't even powerful enough to destroy the sayajins, remember?"   
  
"If it weren't for that, you'd still be dating Yamucha though."   
  
Bulma thought about that... yeah, she was definitely better off with Vegeta. Plus, if she ever got tired of him, he'd make a great coffee table on all fours. "Good point. Maybe they will work. Piccolo has become a lot stronger... but who's the girl if she's not your GIRLFRIEND?"   
  
"Oh, um, ah... she's... someone who agreed to help us search for the dragonballs as long as we paid her."   
  
"Hey guys... who's that?" Goku came through the front door, fit as a fiddle and ready to go (A/N: There were numerous piano exercises called this!! It was scary!). Gohan was with him.   
  
"Someone who's gonna help them find the dragonballs. I don't know why you can't find them by yourselves... but then again... you have Krillin to deal with." Bulma smirked.   
  
"Hey!"   
  
"Oh, can I help?"   
  
"Sure Goku... but when the dragon comes, do you think you could..."   
  
"What, Chaozu?"   
  
"Kinda... we-ell... go?"   
  
"Okay, but why?"  
  
"It's a psychological thing. Whenever Chaozu sees the dragon, he can't stand people with blue hair around him. It's nerve wracking."   
  
"It's not my fault dammit! It was all ChiChi! But thanks for the info Tien."   
  
"No problem. We have to go now."   
  
~*~  
  
How will Krillin explain THIS one. Please review and go check out my new humour one-shot! It's called 'A Midwinter's Nightmare'. BYE!! 


	9. 18's Swift Departure

A/N: Here's the next chapter! I realize the lateness, but keep in mind exams are in less than a week! I really should be studying for math right now...  
  
~*~  
  
"Bye Krillin! Take care!"   
  
"Will do, Gohan, bye!" Krillin turned around to the doorway only to come face to face with Vegeta, Piccolo and Mirari Trunks. All of them looked pretty annoyed, to say the least.   
  
"What happened to you guys? You all look like you're valley girls being told the mall is CLOSED." snickered Bulma.  
  
"Well, woman, there is something going on that we have to take care of."   
  
Being sometimes the one with common sense, Bulma decided to say nothing more.   
  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?" Mirari Trunks screamed at 18.   
  
"Geez, lay off on the ears for one second, will you? I'm not staying. I'm going." 18 swiped the dragonball locator out of Krillin's hand.   
  
"Hey!"   
  
"I'll take that, thank you." and with that, she sped off in search of the legendary dragonballs, leaving Mirari Trunks ready to kill something, which happened to be an unsuspecting fly at the time.  
  
"Did I miss something?"   
  
"No Goku, you know everything. Even Vegeta is impressed by your vast knowledge in every matter of life."   
  
"Seriously? Gosh Piccolo, I didn't think I was that smart."  
  
"Goku, he's being sarcastic. You're a first class idiot." pointed out Bulma. "But seriously, who is she REALLY? I KNOW Krillin isn't telling the truth anymore."   
  
Mirari Trunks slammed a nearby table with his fist, missing the damn fly for the umpteenth time.  
  
"She's android 18, used to be a human who called herself Tina."   
  
"Remember when I brought the boy home after he fainted?"   
  
"Yes, why?" Bulma was becoming confused. Vegeta continued on, using large hand gestures that everyone snickered at secretively.  
  
"He was raging mad and claimed that he saw the androids. It turns out the people he saw were going to be the androids, but weren't yet."   
  
"Whoah, I'm really confused."   
  
"Kakarotto, you've always been a dumbass."   
  
"We have to find her! If she gets her hands on the dragonballs, she'll kill us all!" yelled Mirari Trunks as he ran through the room with a flyswatter.   
  
"But she said-"   
  
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT THAT BITCH SAID, KRILLIN! SHE'S LYING! ANDROIDS DON'T EVER PLAY FAIR OR TELL THE TRUTH!"   
  
Mirari Trunks whacked Krillin with his flyswatter a couple of times, just for the hell of it.  
  
"Well Trunks, the timeline has changed quite a bit. Dr. Gero survived for a lot longer, and there were two extra androids in the picture. Maybe they are different. Please stop hitting me!!"   
  
"Why, Krillin?"   
  
"Why what, Trunks?"   
  
"Why do you stick up for her anyways??"   
  
Krillin was speechless, hoping no one would figure out his rather OBVIOUS attraction for the blond android.   
  
"Well chrome-dome, answer already. We don't have all day."   
  
"Shut up Vegeta."   
  
"Who asked you boy?"  
  
"FIRST OF ALL, MY NAME IS TRUNKS, NOT 'BOY'. SECOND, NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE CRAP YOU'VE BEEN SAYING AND DOING EVER!"   
  
"YOU HAVE SOME NERVE, BOY. WE'LL SETTLE THIS OUTSIDE."   
  
"MY NAME IS TRUNKS!! Can you hold on for just two secs? I gotta get this fly first."  
  
"Whatever."   
  
SWISH, SWISH, THWACK!   
  
The poor fly was squashed to the refrigerator, never to flit about freely again, but no one really cared, it was just a fly.  
  
Vegeta and Mirari Trunks stepped outside to begin their battle. Everyone watched intently from inside Capsule Corp, not wanting to get killed by a stray blast.   
  
"You are gonna be so sorry you messed with me, Vegeta."   
  
"What are you gonna do, faint on me until I pass out from looking at your ugly face?"   
  
From the inside, everyone was struggling to keep Bulma from going outside.   
  
"I have to go! Trunks is going to cream him!"   
  
Tien talked through his teeth while holding Bulma back. "Even if he does, he won't kill Vegeta. He is his father, and I don't think he has the mental strength to kill his own dad."   
  
"I guess you're right." Bulma relaxed a little, but then Vegeta made a rather unwise comment.  
  
"Before you even THINK of a comeback, boy, I'll tell you now your ugliness comes from your mother's side."  
  
"BEAT HIS ASS, TRUNKS!!"   
  
~*~  
  
Out on the battlefield, Mirari Trunks was pissed off, powerful and giddy with his victory over the fly.  
  
"HYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I'M GONNA SEND YOU TO HELL, ASSHOLE!"   
  
"You don't have the guts to kill your own father." smirked Vegeta in a cool tone.  
  
"TRY THIS ON!" Mirari Trunks sucked in a huge amount of energy, then converted it into eerie green flames. "TOXIC FLAME SUPREME!!" yelled Mirari Trunks as he released a massive ball of green flames that hurtled toward Vegeta, who smirked and held up his thumb. Unfortunately for him, the attack was MUCH more powerful than it looked.   
  
After the smoke cleared from where it hit, all you could see were two spandex-covered legs sticking out of the ground. Pieces of armour  
were in small splinters everywhere. In short, Vegeta looked like... well, a vegetable popping up from the ground.   
  
"Holy shit..." whispered Yamucha as he touched down near the Capsule Corp property. Everyone else was speechless... and Vegeta wasn't moving. Meanwhile...  
  
~*~  
  
*I have to find the dragonballs, I have to. There's only 5 more to go, I can do this. Damn Gero! Why couldn't I just stay human? Then I wouldn't be in this fucking mess.* 18 continued to track down the remaining dragonballs. She was in hot pursuit of the third one, and gaining rapidly. However, out in the mountains, where Gero's lab once was...  
  
  
"Coughcoughcoughcough...hackhack...coughcoughcough. Er-HEM."   
  
"What is it Jason ?"  
  
"Nothing 16, I was clearing my throat. And don't call me Jason. We have to go find Goku."   
  
"Yes, we have to kill him."   
  
"Where is he?"   
  
"At the moment, far from here. He cannot sense our power, but I can sense his. If we sneak up on him without letting his friends know, we can succeed in our mission. Of course, the boy and Vegeta are at extremely high power levels, so it is best if we approach with caution."  
  
"Right... let's..." Suddenly 17/Jason was overcome by terrible series of hacks, coughs and other weird sounds.   
  
"17. Are you alright?"   
  
"AAAAAhhh... chooOOO!" was 17's reply.   
  
"You seem to have... what humans call... a cold."   
  
"No way, 16. Androids like us don'd... cadch... Ah-CHOOOWOOWOOOWOO!(I actually have a friend who sneezes like that) ...Okay, maybe... I... Ah-Choo! Do have a bid of a code." sniffled the black haired menace.  
  
Androids 16 and 17 started to make their way to Bulma's house, making a few pit stops so that 17 could steal a few boxes of kleenex. They were hoping the famous Briefs girl would know the cure to 17's predicament. However, back at the ever famous Capsule Corp...  
  
  
"Goku... exactly why did you get this 'new image' again??"   
  
"Does it really matter, Krillin?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"ChiChi threatened to cut my meals in half for a year if I didn't."   
  
"How much do you usually eat?"   
  
"Oh, about a 6 course meal. That doesn't include dessert."   
  
Krillin and those who heard Goku fell down, anime style.   
  
~*~  
  
Please review, and go read my two stories which are lacking in reviews: "The Adventures of Lean Ground Beef" and "A Midwinter's Nightmare". PLEASE! 


	10. Die Bootlegger Die!

A/N: Well, here we go, thanks for the reviews... the one or two I got... but anyways, it's more than the LAST time I posted this story! Of course, this story's much better now. Well, onward we go, tally-ho!  
  
I don't own Dragonballz  
  
~*~  
  
"Okay Goku..." Bulma raised her eyebrows, still surprised at his appetite, even though she'd known him for so long. "Trunks!"   
  
Said half-breed saiyajin turned around to see the gang right behind him, and he got a tad nervous.  
  
"Err... yeah mom?"   
  
"You didn't hurt Vegeta really badly... did you? Because I need him for the sex."   
  
"I don't think so... and EW! I DON'T need to know about my parent's bed habits!"  
  
Out of the blue, what seemed like an earthquake was turned out to be Vegeta powering up and splitting the ground into smithereens. "BOY!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!!! GALET GUN!"   
  
Vegeta launched his attack... which Mirari Trunks swatted away like a fly, almost like that fly that was currently smashed against the refrigerator, its relatives mourning in a little swarm nearby. But enough about that, let's get back to the REAL story.  
  
"Is that the best you can do? Kami, and you call ME a weakling."   
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!!" Vegeta flew in and threw a deadly punch-kick-blast-kick-blast-punch-punch-blast-kick-in-the-nuts combo on Mirari Trunks. Soon the young saiyajin from the future was  
bending over in pain, swearing at the top of his lungs.   
  
"Come on,Trunks. You're stronger than that. You can beat him easily."   
  
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID NAMEK!! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRICKIN' BALLS, YOU DON'T KNOW MY PAIN!"   
  
"You've talked far too much already, green bean, why don't you just keel over and die?"  
  
"Make me, Vegeta. Or are you too afraid now that Trunks is stronger than you? Oh no, I haven't offended his highness, have I? Oh dear, I'm so sorry... Princess Vegeta of the bitches."   
  
"WHAT??!!"  
  
"You heard me... your 'majesty'."   
  
Vegeta, in his blinding rage, started to attack Piccolo. Obviously, Vegeta was winning... until Mirari Trunks punched him. Once. Vegeta was knocked out cold and taken inside Capsule Corp for a rather slow recovery using Bulma's equipment... no one really felt like giving him one of the senzu beans Yamucha had... not even Bulma.  
  
~*~  
  
*Only 3 more. 3 more dragonballs and then I'll be human. I can hardly believe it. What I really can't believe though is that the bald guy and the little porcelain boy actually were going to help me. Did they actually believe I wanted to be human, or were they planning to tag along to make sure I didn't kill anyone?   
  
*I need to stop for clothes, these ones are tattered. I may be an android... but I'm still a woman. (This was on an actual episode from Mirari Trunks' past, I did not come up with this sentence, FYI) This store should be okay, I guess.* 18 landed near Bootlegger, then went inside, holding her bag of dragonballs VERY closely, hissing at anyone who came too close.   
  
"May I help you miss?" A store clerk was standing in front of 18, OBVIOUSLY checking her out. What the hell... she might as well use him.  
  
"Yeah, I'm looking for a good pair of jeans, durable. They have to be able to stand up to stuff easily. And a green tank top or something. Anything."   
  
"Sure, right this way." said the clerk, practically drooling, causing 18 to scowl.  
  
*Why do I surround myself with idiots?* 18 followed the clerk over to a section with navy wash jeans.   
  
"Something like this?"   
  
"Yeah, that's good." He picked up a pair for her, tried to get a peek at her behind and was met with a vicious slap. He wisely moved on to a section were the shirts and tank tops were kept. 18 followed close behind, and the guy could almost feel her drilling holes mentally through his rear.   
  
"How about this one?" The clerk held up a hideous green and purple peasant top that made 18 want to gag.   
  
"Don't make me puke."   
  
"What do you think of this?" he showed her a dark green t-shirt with a silver star in the middle.   
  
"Um... not quite what I'm looking for. I don't think so." A flash of lime green suddenly caught the cyborg's eye. Walking over, she came across a lime green tank top that said "Foxy" and had the number 18. "I'll take this one."   
  
"Excellent choice, miss." The store clerk was quite happy since he would be making a larger profit than usual... usually he had no clients whatsoever, which, of course, was the result of his problematic staring at just about every girl who walked into the store.   
  
18 checked to see if it fit, kept it on, then walked out of the store.  
  
"Hey lady! You've got to pay for that, you know."   
  
"Do I now?" With an evil smirk, 18 blew up Bootlegger with a single blast, all the while clutching her dragonballs against her abs. *Now* she thought. *To get the last three dragonballs.* She took one look on the dragonball locator, then flew off to the west.  
  
~*~  
  
Mirari Trunks, Goku, Gohan, Yamucha, Tien, Bulma, Chaozu, and a bruised Piccolo watched as Vegeta slowly healed. Finally, Mirari Trunks cracked, and not literally, as in pieces of him fell to the ground, but mentally, as in he must have spent WAY too long chasing the fly, whose relatives had now stopped mourning and were back to their normal day-to-day fly regime... producing their spawn.  
  
"That's it! I'm going to kill that bitch of an android and get those dragonballs. Who's with me?"  
  
Five minutes passed in silence... there wasn't even a cricket chirping.   
"Fine then! I'll go by myself!" Mirari Trunks stomped out of Capsule Corp, then took off at high speed to where he hoped the androids were.   
  
"Hey Bulma?"   
  
"Yeah, Goku?"   
  
"How's he gonna find her? I mean, she has no ki, and he doesn't have the dragonball locator. What's he gonna do?"   
  
"I don't know."   
  
Everyone let this information slowly sink in, until they realized that he probably couldn't stop 18 from making her wish.   
  
"Hey, I got it!" Everyone looked at Tien, who never has ideas in the normal Dragonballz time line, but since this is a DIFFERENT time line, Tien has a brain. "When the dragon comes, Trunks should be able to find her no problem! He can kick her ass!"   
  
"But how many people will she kill before she calls the dragon up?" All were silent after Piccolo made his crucial point.   
  
"I don't think she'd kill anyone. She seems pretty sincere about the human thing."   
  
"WHAT??" yelled a really surprised Piccolo. "She could do anything right now. Why would she want to be human? She'd only get weaker, and like Trunks said, why are you sticking up for her?"   
  
"I'M NOT STICKING UP FOR HER!!" yelled Krillin, becoming red faced as he thought of his not-so-secret android desire.   
  
"Suuuuure you're not. That's like me complementing Vegeta's honesty, integrity, and let's not forget MODESTY shall we?"  
  
"I don't need the sarcasm from you, Namek." Vegeta crawled off of the bed he was laying on, muttering something about the damn blue flying pigs invading his dreams AGAIN.   
  
"Careful, make sure you take off the-"   
  
"Shut up, woman." Bulma let out a large huff and was about to let out a huge argument as well, when she noticed Krillin sneaking out the door.   
  
"And just where are YOU going?"   
  
"Um... to help Trunks... why?"   
  
"Just wondering." Krillin flew up and went THE OTHER DIRECTION from which Mirari Trunks was. Of course, no one noticed this except for Vegeta. The saiyajin didn't have modesty, but he was pretty frickin' observant.   
  
"Helping that boy my ass."   
  
"What do you mean, Vegeta?"   
  
"Nothing you could ever understand, Kakarotto. It's beyond your diminutive comprehension level."   
  
"What? What did Krillin do?"  
  
~*~  
  
What did Krillin do? Let me know what you think of this one! 


	11. Colds Aren't Fun

A/N: Yes, I realize it has been a while. I'm tired of giving excuses so I'm not going to bother any more. Enjoy this chapter, hope you like the story so far, and I hope the action scenes were done well. There isn't much of that in this chapter though. Thanks to everyone who reviewed this fiction, it's very much appreciated.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonballz or any of its affiliates, so DON'T SUE!!!  
  
*represents character thoughts*  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Well dumbass, how's he supposed to help the lavender freak if he's going the other way?"   
  
"He is, oh yeah...the opposite direction...you're right."   
  
"When am I not?"   
  
"When you challenged Trunks."   
  
"NAMEK, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP??!!"   
  
Piccolo smirked and was silent.   
  
"Why would he go the other way?"   
  
"Yamucha, isn't it obvious?"   
  
"Well excuse me for not being a smartass, most powerful Piccolo."   
  
Piccolo ignored Yamucha and continued. "He's going to protect the android."  
  
"WHAT????!!!" shrieked everyone within close proximity.   
  
"Ow, not so loud!"   
  
"Sorry Mr. Piccolo."   
  
"That's okay Gohan, just try to be a little more gentle on the ears next time, okay?"   
  
" 'Kay. But why would he help her after what she did to all of us?"   
  
"Haven't you noticed that Krillin was protecting her? Twice?"   
  
"Not only that, but he has the worst choice in women."   
  
"How would you know that, Vegeta?"   
  
"Well Bulma, have you met Marron?"   
  
"You're right there...did you just call me Bulma?"   
  
Everyone stared at Vegeta in shock. Finally, the tiny voice of Chaozu spoke up. "I don't think he's recovered from that fight with Trunks yet."   
  
"Nonsense! I'm perfectly fiiiiii-"   
  
THUNK.   
  
The sound of Vegeta's head hitting the cement floor echoed throughout Capsule Corp. No one really cared that he had just fainted, but Yamucha did snicker a bit. Meanwhile...  
  
*Yes! There it is!* 18 flew down to retrieve the sixth dragonball.   
  
"Hey!" The android turned around, and to her dismay found Krillin, smiling a half-scared-to-death smile.   
  
*Just great. The little cue-ball guy is back. What more could go wrong?* As if responding to her thoughts, Mirari Trunks landed in super saiyajin form, extremely pissed off, yet strangely calm.   
  
"Oh shit...you better get going." whispered Krillin to 18.   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Well, for one thing, he gets stronger every time he fights, and for another thing, he's really calm and angry. When he's not calm it's bad enough, but now that-"   
  
"Well, well, well. Looks like Krillin has a new girlfriend, eh? Marron was bad enough."   
  
"YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO THAT BLUE-HAIRED BIMBO? YOU WILL PAY... whoever the hell you are." 18 and Mirari Trunks stood in fighting stances, each glaring at each other with looks that could kill.   
  
18 anxiously looked around for a safe place to hide her six dragonballs, but while she was looking, Mirari Trunks took them right out of her arms without her noticing. "What the..." she looked at Mirari Trunks. "Give me back my dragonballs!!"   
  
"No fucking way! You've killed enough people already!"  
  
"I'm not going to kill anyone else! It's pointless!"   
  
"I don't believe you and I never will!"   
  
"I don't give a shit what the fuck you believe!"   
  
Krillin glanced nervously as 18 was pissed and on the verge of tears... if she even had any. "Guys..."   
  
"What the hell is it Krillin?" yelled Mirari Trunks.   
  
"She's not the same android as the one in your time. She was human once... look, you could give her one chance at least."   
  
"Look Krillin, I'm sick to death of you defending her every damn chance you get. I don't give a shit if you think she's innocent, she's not. SHE'S NOT HUMAN ANY MORE!!" Mirari Trunks started to power up, going extremely fast and very high.   
  
"TOXIC..."   
  
"Shit, Tina get out of here!"   
  
"It's too fast to run, but I can dodge. Besides, it's probably not nearly as powerful as it looks. Have some faith... and my name isn't-"   
  
"FLAME..."   
  
*Dammit, he's gonna kill her! She doesn't deserve it...* A very worried Krillin tried desperately to tell Mirari Trunks to back down, but his feeble voice was lost in the roar of the demi-saiyajin's surrounding power.  
  
"SUPREME!!!!" A huge flash of green light sped towards Tina...and she dodged it, then slammed her fist square into Mirari Trunks' jaw, causing blood to seep out from his mouth.   
  
"I'll take these, asshole." she spat as she grabbed the dragonballs and sped away very, very quickly.  
  
~*~  
  
At the outskirts of Capsule Corp, androids 16 and 17 had just landed nearby, the latter still struggling with his cold virus.  
  
"16?"   
  
"Yes, Jason?"   
  
"How many times have I (cough, cough) told you not to (cough) call me that...er-HEM.(cough)?"  
  
"At least three."   
  
"Well then remember...my name is 17." 17 then started to cough really loudly. It sounded as if he was choking, then turned into what sounded like the hairball from hell. Soon his hacking sounds could be heard all over Capsule Corp.   
  
"What the hell is that noise?" Piccolo stepped outside the house, with the others close behind. Vegeta was still unconscious, and still, no one cared... save Yamucha who poked him a couple of times with a stick before running out and joining the others. The coughing was so bad now that huge gasps of air and other weird noises were intensified. Gohan turned around the corner to find a gigantic 16 at a loss of what to do with his coughing partner.  
  
"(COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH) water...(COUGH, COUGH, HAAAAAAAACCCK)."   
  
"Why should I get you anything?" sneered the son of Goku.  
  
17 continued to cough and then fell. He seemed to be going through what seemed like seizures until he saw the others by Gohan. "Oh...just (cough) fucking (cough) great..." 17 finally passed out from all the damage he took.   
  
"Goku."   
  
The earth's repetitive saviour looked at 16 with a quizzical look on his face. "Yes?"  
  
~*~*~  
  
What does 16 want? Will 17 and Vegeta ever wake up? Will 18 become human? Or will Trunks fry her to a crisp? Will Krillin ever admit that he likes 18? All these answers come next chapter.  
  
Pleeeeeeeeease review! It would be so kind, considering a lost a bunch when an author who was reviewing got kicked off. That and I'm a sucker for praise and adoration. Constructive criticism is welcome too. 


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